WEEK 20: HALF WAY TO BA-BAY!

Hey there Cat-n-Kittens!

Why would I say that? I hate cats.

Anyway, we have 6.5 inches of squirm-worm in my belly. Mommy's current weight gain is around 8 pounds. (It honestly could be 10 - I've been a little lax the last two weeks. I'm sure I'll hear about it next week.)

I learned something very important about cravings today. Indulging them is not necessarily a super great idea. Case in point: french fries, bacon and ice cream. This combo of delicious items was truly gratifying while going down the gullett; however, the 2 hours following were PAINFUL. I ate a veggie salad with vinegar as dressing and a glass of milk for dinner. Lesson.learned.

Zach thinks he felt Fozz Squirmy Wormy Bear in my tummy the other night. He was talking to me and I felt a decent sized push, so I told him to put his hand on Fozz' Casa De Uterus, and we think he caught one!

Speaking of Zach, I would like to take this half-way mark to thank him. I don't think I was giving him enough credit in the first trimester. He has been a rock. Those of you that know already, I've recently received some pretty tough news in the form of the future of my employment, and I wanted to have a melt down. It's scarry to think about a devestating blow to your financial belt (considering most of that belt is on credit) when you have a completely dependent little Fozzie in your tum tum, but he has kept me sane. Doing the dishes, giving out hugs, the occasional "we'll get through it, babe," etc. And as much as you all think you're excited to meet Fozzie, it is so nice to have a partner in happiness crime. Zach is just as excited as I am to hold our little bear for the first time. Before I become sentimental (which will probably cause you to panic and demand to find out who I have ghost writing this thing) let me just sum up with a thank you and a shout out to my baby daddy.

We're a few short days away from knowing Fozzie's true identity!! Oct 6 is the big day.

Sorry for the late posting. For someone on the her way out, I sure do have a lot more work to do these days. This is the first night I've had off in a while. Naturally I thought of all of you. (And there was nothing on in the 9pm hour on TV)

My Lovin' (no, you're never gonna get it. just kidding, you will. this ain't no En Vogue concert!)
Em

WEEK 19: 10K + 6 INCH BABY + UNEMPLOYEMNT = HUH?

I have to admit, I had planned to write this week's entry from a totally different perspective. I did a 10K on Sunday, and I had planned to write how when you're only this far along, you don't really get enough credit for doing a race. I mean, wearing the loose fitting race t-shirt, I really just looked like a tubby girl smuggling an innertube that only ran 45 minutes. (And let's be realistic - I WAS a tubby girl that only ran 45 minutes.)

I felt really well after the race and even though she is swearing she is never doing another, Mom did an incredible job. I'm really proud of her for doing something so far out of her comfort zone.

So, I planned on writing what it was like to have to pee every two miles, and how it felt be pretty sure I could go further, or what it was like to pass a finish line nearly 5 months pregnant...

*EDIT* - there's no need to edit this anymore.  THIS IS THE WEEK I FOUND OUT I WAS LOSING MY JOB WHEN THE BABY IS BORN.

Benefits to UNEMPLOYMENT :
*No need to not end sentences in a preposition. UNEMPLOYED people have nothing to prove.
*No more being shoved around on public transit in the mornings.
* UNEMPLOYMENT = lots of vacation time
*More time to blog - albeit with subpar grammar on account of sure to be forthcoming mental malaise
*Time to finally learn the Beyonce "Single Ladies" dance
*Time to teach baby the "Single Ladies" dance
*Learn a handicraft. Just kidding. I hate crafts. hahaha! I'll probably persue my other favorite hobby - looking up swear words in the dictionary
*Going to park to meet up with other UNEMPLOYED parents

Well, Fozz is kicking and I'm considering writing in my other blog.

Maybe next week I can get Zach to finalize that Team Wagner logo!

Love,
Judge Judy

ZACH'S BABY AQUARIUM - PART 1

He said he's still working out the details, but here is Phase 1 of Zach's babysitting plan.

WEEK 18 - OUT LITTLE BUSY BEE

5.6 inches, 6.7oz - Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

I STARTED FEELING FOZZIE MOVE AROUND 3 DAYS AGO AND IT IS THE GREATEST FEELING OF ALL TIMES!! Let me just tell you, Fozz is a busy little bee in there. Yank yank - punch punch - flutter flutter. I am surprised and thrilled by all of the movement, which brings me to a little story about the other morning...

My sister one day when we were kids, would try to sneak up behind me and 'scare me' - a task she would regularly fail at. In her defense, I was eight years older than her, so a four-year-old trying to quietly creep up behind you is never particularly quiet, and a twelve-year-old is too big of a jerk to just pretend.

On one such occasion, little Meridith failed once again to scare me and burst in to tears. When my mom asked what was wrong, she proclaimed, "I'll never be a good mommy if I can't scare my kids."

Yeah, my mom jumped out at us a lot. And you wonder why I'm so twitchy!

Little Fozzie Baby Bear is already having tricks played on s/him. Muh-wah-hahaha!

I am sleeping on my side now per the doctor's and every book in the world's recommendation and I'm starting to get good about staying on my side. Two evenings ago, I was so exhausted that I didn't even wake up to use the restroom (a first since May!) and when I first woke up in the morning I rolled on to my back.

SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE
Hahahaha! Fozz was totally caught off guard! I felt the tiny little scramble of tiny little limbs as someone's contents shifted during flight.

I did it again this morning, and again, hilarious. Nothing like playing jokes on my unsuspecting 5.6inch baby!

So, Meridith and Mom, rest easy - I'm on my way to being a GREAT parent!

Second Post Today! PROGRESS!

WEEK 17 - JUST GETTIN' BIGGER

Well, a week late, but up nonetheless, here is my current belly status. What a great weekend! Just sippin' some brews down on the shores of Lake Michigan, doing some water skiing, got out the wake board...oh, wait. That was OTHER people. I sipped an O'Douls and dipped my toes in the water.

By the way, have you ever had O'Douls? It tastes just like beer, and just like beer, after the first one, I'm finished with it. Big thanks to Zach for getting me that, though. It was tasty to have a beer with group - even sans alcohol.

It was another great weekend, though. Clark, please thank your parents again for us!

Fozz is 5.1 inches and 5.9oz today! Getting pretty big!!! Fozzie's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger - and I think Fozz is tugging on it pretty frequently.

I thought for a second I felt Fozz punch me on Friday. I felt two sharp jabs come from lower abdomen. Not painful mind you - not at all - but like someone's finger poked me two times from the inside. I haven't felt anything since, so I'm guessing once again, it was gas.

I get to hear Fozz's little wokka wokka's tomorrow (but no peeking in on Fozz), and then we're just 4 weeks from the big day!!! Is Fozzie Bear a he or a she?

WEEK 16 - EVERYONE ELSE'S BIZWAX

Yes, I know, I know. I am late. Most of you probably didn't even notice, but Jessica sure did. She is bossy - which is a great segue for today's entry...more in a moment.

Well, I am for certain showing now. I need to get another picture up - we'll take one tomorrow and I'll post it for Friday. I know in a few months I'll look back on this burgeoning bump and think, "that was nothin!" For today, though. it's something! And my future self shouldn't be raining on my present self's preggo parade!

Before I get started, Fozz is 4.6 inches and 3.5oz this week! Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. Supposedly an ultrasound would also pick up gender differences, but Doc Garb (he's not olde tyme, I just like to say Doc) likes to wait until we're good and past week 20 to be safe.

Now then... I am finding myself reminding others that Fozzie isn't community property. I know some people took that "taking a villiage" business to heart, but honestly, Zach and I have it covered, people.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE???" 1. You're not my doctor. 2. You're not Zach. 3. You aren't even my friend or related to me - you're just someone I know. My reply? "Well, I was going to do a bump of coke, but the workplace frowns on that." Yes, I am going to have a cup of coffee. I'm allowed 1 a day to stave off the blinding migraines that I get and for which I can take absolutely nothing.

"WELL, THAT'S STUPID, AND I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT." (in response to: if it's a boy, we'll name him William Frank and we may call him Frank.) 1. I don't recall asking your opinion. 2. Don't accuse others of being stupid if you're going to be stupid enough to be needlessly insulting at a nice dinner party. Rude people are stupid. 3. Bubby says it's the parent's greatest priveledge to bestow a name on a child, and Bubby is a Bubby and she knows more than you, so shut yer yap.

"CAN I TOUCH? I'M JUST GOING TO TOUCH." Hey gang, I'm showing, but I'm not THAT showing. When you touch me, you're really just touching my stomach (yes, it's sticking out because Fozz's coccoon is pushing up on it.) The baby is still set pretty low, and only Zach and the Doctor are touching there. Capice? So, no means no. And this isn't Frat-Boy-Style-No where it means 'yes.' Actual no.

I'm allowed to go jogging, a boat is like a car, I'm going to have my hair done, and hot dogs are okay for me at ball games.

I promise you - I won't do anything to hurt the baby, and Zach certainly won't let me do anything I perceive as safe that isn't. Trust me. He's an eagle eye. (Ask him about telling Spilliams she's not allowed to clean on top of the kitchen cabinets.) Zach is the only person besides the doctor to whom I'm listening, so if you have a request, you may want to run it by him.

Also, ask him to post already! He has some great things he says he's going to put up on here, and he hasn't done it yet. There are some really funny ideas he's had, so try to help me coax him in to posting!

Bump pictures to get posted this week - I swear!

Love,
Em