Hi Friends and Family and Curious Blogosphere Wanderers!
Here we are half-way through week 11. Next week at this time we'll be at 12.5 weeks and having our next big appointment. I'll be hearing Fozzie's heart beat again, but this time just via Doppler. If all is well, we will be officially out of the first trimester!
What this means for you: you can post all of the comments you could ever want on Facebook. Just go nuts. You can tell anyone you like (some of you already have) or complete strangers if you wish! I won't be so worried anymore, and I hear tell I'll start feeling a lot better. Huzzah. (And yes, mom, I will stop banning you from purchasing things.)
This week we're the size of a lime. I have to say, I like this because I always have limes on my kitchen counter (insert your Martha cracks here) so I have an easy reference every day. Next week I'm supposedly going to have a plum in there. Is a plum bigger than a lime? And what is it with prunes and plums? Are these fruit comparison people trying to hint at ways to clear my 'issues' down under?
And plums? Who eats plums anymore? I will acquiesce and call Fozzie plum-sized next week, but I'll call it Eve Plum sized. (I love you, Jan Brady!)
You'll get a regularly scheduled update on Monday to ring in week 12 (weeks start on Sundays, but I don't do Sunday Blogging. Sheesh!) and then the big update on Wednesday. When you see that update, you can just go nutz! That's right - with a Z.
Word,
Co-Spawner of Fozzie the Baby
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
WEEK TEN...PERFECT FINGERS AND TOES, AND DR. PEPPER?
Oh, Hi there, Fans of Fozzie! We've got a pretty big week this week! Turns out we're the size of a PRUNE. Ew! A Prune. Prunes are right up there with Raisins and other dried fruits (re: abominations of the fruit world) and I will be excited for next week's size of a Lime update. Limes are far more useful.
And here's a question - if they're all dried out, how do you get Prune Juice? I mean, isn't the point of a dried fruit to devoid it of juice? And why is that the big ingredient to Dr. Pepper. Is that why it has 'doctor' in the title? Because it gives you loose stool? (If you're a drinker of the Pep, let me know if it keeps you regular. Or don't, because then I'd know too much about you. But do, because then I may have one.)
Here's the real excitement for the week - perfect little fingers and toes! Yay! We even have prints now. (Which I was told today by a friend that's a good thing, since Fetal Crime is way up this year.) Also, our tail is gone this week! We're growing hair, and our (for you more gentle readers, you may not want to read this next part) genitals are distinguishing themselves. Oh, Boy! ...or Girl! (Kids these days are starting younger and younger. Sheesh!) Also, you should see the size of our kid's brain now! Wow! It's, like, almost the size of all the rest of it's body! Fozzie sure is smart!
Still not much change in me. I am still tired all of the time, and I still get sick on the bus. Today's adventure involved me sitting next to a girl that smelled like she had a baking accident with the Vanilla. You'd think that'd be pleasant to me, but all I could think was, "Is she a hippie or a stripper? Either way, that smell has to go!" I'm told I only have a few more weeks of this, and I have to say, I'm elated. I can't wait to feel more 'normal' again. Emotionally, I almost hit some guy with my umbrella the other day for no other reason than just because he looked like a Theatre student/douche bag to me. Poor kid. He thinks individualism comes from the outside, and he's going to be attacked by a lunatic pregnant woman if she sees him again.
And here's a question - if they're all dried out, how do you get Prune Juice? I mean, isn't the point of a dried fruit to devoid it of juice? And why is that the big ingredient to Dr. Pepper. Is that why it has 'doctor' in the title? Because it gives you loose stool? (If you're a drinker of the Pep, let me know if it keeps you regular. Or don't, because then I'd know too much about you. But do, because then I may have one.)
Here's the real excitement for the week - perfect little fingers and toes! Yay! We even have prints now. (Which I was told today by a friend that's a good thing, since Fetal Crime is way up this year.) Also, our tail is gone this week! We're growing hair, and our (for you more gentle readers, you may not want to read this next part) genitals are distinguishing themselves. Oh, Boy! ...or Girl! (Kids these days are starting younger and younger. Sheesh!) Also, you should see the size of our kid's brain now! Wow! It's, like, almost the size of all the rest of it's body! Fozzie sure is smart!
Still not much change in me. I am still tired all of the time, and I still get sick on the bus. Today's adventure involved me sitting next to a girl that smelled like she had a baking accident with the Vanilla. You'd think that'd be pleasant to me, but all I could think was, "Is she a hippie or a stripper? Either way, that smell has to go!" I'm told I only have a few more weeks of this, and I have to say, I'm elated. I can't wait to feel more 'normal' again. Emotionally, I almost hit some guy with my umbrella the other day for no other reason than just because he looked like a Theatre student/douche bag to me. Poor kid. He thinks individualism comes from the outside, and he's going to be attacked by a lunatic pregnant woman if she sees him again.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Number 9, Number 9, Number 9
Hi there cats and kittens! Welcome to the wonderful world of week 9. Honestly, it feels like the other weeks for me, but turns out Fozzie is squirming and growing and gaining weight. I put Fozzie's progress below in italics.
For me, I have developed this new trick of getting nauseous on the bus. The train seems to be mostly okay, but for some reason the bus is killing me. Maybe it's the way the clientele on the bus tends to smell worse, maybe it's the way CTA drivers can't seem to gently accelerate or break, or maybe it's just that the AC on the bus is rarely as reliable as the AC on the train. Either way, I now officially hate riding buses and I can't wait for this phase to end. (The smell is the #1. Oy.)
Funny story. I gave my seat up to a pregnant lady today. I looked up from my seat, and there she was, about to give birth on my shoulder. I insisted she take my seat, and she thanked me profusely. So, this goes out to all the jerkos on the Brown Line this morning - if one pregnant lady has to give up her seat for another pregnant lady, and you're some dude sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal, your a jerk.
Not that I'm incapable of standing, but I'm pretty sure no one wanted to see her give birth on my shoulder.
If you were to peek in on your little one you'd find they resemble a miniature human being (one with a very large head!). Because your baby's organs and limbs are forming, in the next few weeks your baby will be putting on weight. Your baby's tail should have disappeared by now, and your baby's organs and muscles should be functioning on their own. During pregnancy 9 weeks your baby's eyelids will fuse shut and won't open up again until your baby is about 27 weeks along. Your baby's face is becoming more distinct every day, with the mouth, nose and nostrils becoming clearly visible. By nine weeks your little one will even have developed sex organs, however your healthcare provider won't be able to discern them quite yet. Typically the sex of your baby can be determined by ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks gestation. Your baby's heart should have divided into four separate chambers by pregnancy week 9, as your baby swims about gleefully in her warm and cozy home.
For me, I have developed this new trick of getting nauseous on the bus. The train seems to be mostly okay, but for some reason the bus is killing me. Maybe it's the way the clientele on the bus tends to smell worse, maybe it's the way CTA drivers can't seem to gently accelerate or break, or maybe it's just that the AC on the bus is rarely as reliable as the AC on the train. Either way, I now officially hate riding buses and I can't wait for this phase to end. (The smell is the #1. Oy.)
Funny story. I gave my seat up to a pregnant lady today. I looked up from my seat, and there she was, about to give birth on my shoulder. I insisted she take my seat, and she thanked me profusely. So, this goes out to all the jerkos on the Brown Line this morning - if one pregnant lady has to give up her seat for another pregnant lady, and you're some dude sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal, your a jerk.
Not that I'm incapable of standing, but I'm pretty sure no one wanted to see her give birth on my shoulder.
If you were to peek in on your little one you'd find they resemble a miniature human being (one with a very large head!). Because your baby's organs and limbs are forming, in the next few weeks your baby will be putting on weight. Your baby's tail should have disappeared by now, and your baby's organs and muscles should be functioning on their own. During pregnancy 9 weeks your baby's eyelids will fuse shut and won't open up again until your baby is about 27 weeks along. Your baby's face is becoming more distinct every day, with the mouth, nose and nostrils becoming clearly visible. By nine weeks your little one will even have developed sex organs, however your healthcare provider won't be able to discern them quite yet. Typically the sex of your baby can be determined by ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks gestation. Your baby's heart should have divided into four separate chambers by pregnancy week 9, as your baby swims about gleefully in her warm and cozy home.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
ULTRA SOUND - MEET FOZZIE BEAR!
Well, already our little nugget has been labeled as 'perfect,' but I'm sure you all knew that was just a matter of time! I'm looking in to fetal gifted programs this afternoon. It's never too early to get started. Winners don't rest on laurels...
As you can see to the right, that's Fozzie! I'm re-naming from Neicephew to Fozzie because the heart beat sounds like: wokka wokka wokka wokka. Fozzie's heart beat is 164!
Zach got to see Fozzie first, as the screen was pointed away from me. By the way, NO ONE TOLD ME WHAT THE FIRST ULTRA SOUND WAS LIKE - THAT WAS SOME INFO SOMEONE COULD HAVE PASSED ALONG! For those of you that are like I was, let's just say this: the first ultrasound isn't done on top of the belly...
Awkward moment with your husband in the room and your feet in stirrups aside, the placenta is coming along nicely, and that thing you think is it's head is actually the 'yolk' so to speak. Fozzie is in profile. It was more clear in the office...especially when YOU COULD VISIBLY SEE FOZZIE'S HEART BEATING.
And then, we heard it: WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA. It was the most incredible sound of our lives. I won't say Z teared up, because I'm sure he doesn't want me to compromise his manly profile (he did), but I was practically bawling. The Ultrasound person said it straight up, "EVERYTHING LOOKS PERFECT! THAT'S A PERFECT 8.5 WEEK SPECIMEN."
So, I'm sure this is daunting for all of you looking to become a mom knowing that my kid is already perfect, and your kid will have a hard time keeping up, but I'm sure even if they don't get in the same magnet school, my kid will still be nice to your kid. Fozzie is a giver.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
RASPBERRY, WEEK 8 & You People Astound Me!
Blueberry? You were impressed with the size of a blueberry? Well have a seat and take a deep breath because this week we're a large raspberry! We have our Ultrasound this week, and we're going to see our growing little fruit salad on Wednesday! It's an understatement to say we're excited about seeing Baby Wagner for the first time...
Now for being astounded. You people astound me! (Well, maybe not all of you people, but some of you people. I don't want to offend those who are not currently astounding me.)
Here are answers to your FAQs...
Yes, we will find out the gender, and when we do, we'll let everyone know. Probably some post like, "Oh, Boy!" or "Girl, You Better Recognize!" Something like that.
Yes, the Gender is already decided. It was decided at conception. That little turd in there already knows if it's a boy or a girl and is just holding out on us. Some of you think that babies just 'decide' what to be...or 'just become' a boy or a girl based on what 'starts growing.' Kids...if gender is decided by sperm...then it's decided at conception. It's the fastest swimmer of the moment. It's not what accidently grows based on how much asparagus I eat (or, for fans of the Tudor family, it's not based on my worthiness as a wife - so please don't suggest cutting off my head - it was all Zach - which always makes me have a private laugh at Henry the VIII...he was a royal prick.)
Yes, it has arms and legs now, and yes, they move, and yes, they have fingers and toes - which are wonky little fingers and toes for two more weeks, but fingers and toes nonetheless.
No, I can't feel it yet. Which bums me out. But it's living in a grapefruit-sized vessel inside of me.
MORE ON WEDNESDAY! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
Now for being astounded. You people astound me! (Well, maybe not all of you people, but some of you people. I don't want to offend those who are not currently astounding me.)
Here are answers to your FAQs...
Yes, we will find out the gender, and when we do, we'll let everyone know. Probably some post like, "Oh, Boy!" or "Girl, You Better Recognize!" Something like that.
Yes, the Gender is already decided. It was decided at conception. That little turd in there already knows if it's a boy or a girl and is just holding out on us. Some of you think that babies just 'decide' what to be...or 'just become' a boy or a girl based on what 'starts growing.' Kids...if gender is decided by sperm...then it's decided at conception. It's the fastest swimmer of the moment. It's not what accidently grows based on how much asparagus I eat (or, for fans of the Tudor family, it's not based on my worthiness as a wife - so please don't suggest cutting off my head - it was all Zach - which always makes me have a private laugh at Henry the VIII...he was a royal prick.)
Yes, it has arms and legs now, and yes, they move, and yes, they have fingers and toes - which are wonky little fingers and toes for two more weeks, but fingers and toes nonetheless.
No, I can't feel it yet. Which bums me out. But it's living in a grapefruit-sized vessel inside of me.
MORE ON WEDNESDAY! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
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